Roadkill Goanna

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Syrian torturer disappointed by suspension of US rendition flights


Syrian torturer Adar al-Ashur today expressed disappointment that the crisis in Lebanon has brought a temporary halt to CIA "extraordinary rendition" flights to Syria, which deliver suspected terrorists into his custody for what the US government describes as "vigorous interrogation".

"It is very sad for me to be here today," al-Ashur said, taking a GNN correspondent on a tour of his torture facilities in the basement of a building at the Baba Ghanoush detention camp outside Damascus.

"Look how lonely my meat hooks appear with nobody hanging from them by their shackles. Look at the sponge I use to wet their genitals for electrocution -- it is dried out completely!"

Al-Ashur said he had learned much from his American counterparts since a temporary thaw in relations between Damascus and Washington enabled Syria to begin playing its part in the US rendition program.

"Before, I never even heard of waterboarding," he said. "Now I can make a man feel like he is drowning for hours at a time. It is hilarious!

Al-Ashur said he enjoyed the globalised nature of the rendition program.

"Thanks to the Americans I have been able to torture a student from England, a bank manager from Canada and a man from Pakistan who I think was a carpet salesman but I could not really understand him because his teeth were broken and his tongue was swollen up for some reason. How else could I meet such people?

"The Americans have helped me to become more professional in my occupation too. Often when I am watching (Syrian soap opera) Khalf al-Qudban I would forget to keep the prisoners awake. Now I make sure to throw a bucket of cold water on them at every advertisement.

"I now have two wishes. Number one is, inshallah, that the Zionist entity be destroyed completely. If I cannot have this wish, then I wish that the Americans will come back soon so I can meet some more new people.

"Ehud Olmert is a pig. I slap his head with my shoe!"


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