'Bugger that for a joke,' says Australian soldier

PUCKAPUNYAL, GNN (GOANNA NEWS NETWORK)

"Strewth! Fuck a duck! Fuck a dozen ducks!" That was the colourful reaction of Australian soldier Snowy "Bluey" Swagman (pictured) to the news that Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert had invited the Australian army to be part of a peackekeeping force in southern Lebanon yesterday.

"Christ on bike! Bugger that for a joke," continued Private Swagman. "In the last few years I've been sent to East Timor, Afghanistan, Iraq, Indonesia (for tsunami relief), the Solomon Islands, and bloody East Timor again. I've been back here (Australia) for five minutes and now they expect me to go to bloody Lebanon? Get stuffed."

Private Swagman, who joined the army after finding himself unemployed when the Ettamogah wheat silo closed down, said he had thought the army would be "a bit of a bludge".

"I thought it'd be a bit of fun to run around the Outback, do a bit of pig shooting and blow some stuff up," he said. "But in the last few years I've been all over the world getting shot at. The last bloody bullet only missed me by a bee's dick.

"Still, if the Government decides I have to go, I guess I'll have to go. Doesn't mean I'll enjoy it, though.

"Sod this for a game of soldiers."